Do you write like Shakespeare? Or are you more like Mark Twain? Or Tolstoy?

If you want to get an idea, there’s a website that can compare your text to that of the great writers.

It’s fun, that’s for sure. I entered a piece of recent text, and was told it had a 15% resemblance to Mark Twain. Probably because it was (intentionally) a little old-fashioned.

Then again, I’m not really sure how accurate the results are - or how many authors they have in their database. To test the system, I tried entering the opening page of Dostoevsky’s classic ‘Crime and Punishment.’ It came out as 25% like Leo Tolstoy.

Close, but no cigar.

Now I’ve come across a very promising new writing software package, called Ulysses. I haven’t tried it yet, but if you’re looking to break up with your word processor, and you also use a mac, then this one might be worth a look.

Ulysses was developed mainly for writers who work creatively with text and want or need to realize large amounts of text. All currently available word processing systems on the market do not or just merely grasp the specific needs of this group.

If I find the time (and that might be tricky) I’ll give it a trial and write a review. If you’ve tried Ulysses, please let us know how it went in the comments.

Do you want your writing to stand out, to have power and persuasiveness, to have life and zest and energy? Then here are four ways to take your writing to another level:

1: Have something to say
No matter how well you write, it’s really what you have to say that counts. If you have something to say, the writing will probably come easily. If you don’t know what you want to say yet, you’ll struggle all the way.
The greatest writers there have ever been (Shakespeare, Sophocles, long list goes here…) were not only good with words. They had something important to say about the human condition. They had stories to tell.

2: Use metaphor
A metaphor is a double-edged sword: it adds life, colour, vision and texture to your writing. But use too much metaphor and your writing can become like a crazy fairground ghost-train ride crossed with an out-of-control roller-coaster, with images flying past your readers mind faster than they can take them in, as their stomach starts to churn and they have to close their eyes before they vomit the whole lot up. You get the idea. Use metaphor sparingly and with discretion, but make sure there’s enough in your writing to give it life and sparkle.

3: Find your voice
How do you make your writing distinctive, even unique? By writing with your own voice. You are unique, we all are. So while you will need to learn and improve your writing by picking up techniques from other writers. your goal should be to find your own voice. That way people will recognise your style

Here’s some suggestions for ways to find your voice:

• Go easy on the grammar rules for a while - don’t let them strangle your writing.
• Think about the things you enjoy most in your own writing. What mood were you in when you write that? Can you get back to that place?
• Just write it - don’t try to edit as you go along.
• Write from your own experiences.
• Write what you want - without thought for what others expect. Do it your way for once.
• Picture your reader - but only one person. Don’t try to write for the world at large. Write for just one person.
• Learn to recognise when you are writing with your own voice.

4: Get into the ‘zone’
It’s not only sports men and women who reach peak performance when they are ‘in the zone.’ Being in the zone, or in flow, is a state of heightened concentration and focus. It’s nothing mystical or unachievable. It comes down to letting your unconscious mind take control for a while. In this state, when you are relaxed and focused, the words should start to flow, almost as if they were writing themselves.

Click here for a previous article on writing in the ‘zone.’

And go here for an hypnosis download recording that can help you to beat writer’s block and get into the zone. (Affiliate link)

If she wants you to do something, she has a way of telling you. If she wants the door opened, she lets you know by hammering on it. If she wants some of your lunch, she gives you the big brown eye treatment. You’re not left in any doubt.

She doesn’t get bogged down in corporate jargon. She doesn’t think you have to use “sophisticated business language” to impress people. She doesn’t try to hide a simple idea behind pompous academic nonsense.

A quick bark, she picks up the tennis ball, gives you a glance and invites you to play.

She knows a lot more about effective communication than most people in business. And just about everyone in academia.

She knows how to tempt you into playing ball.

She can persuade you to rub her belly just by rolling on her back and offering it to you.

And she even knows that it’s not all about her. She has to give something back. She has learnt that the humans have to enjoy the game too, or they won’t play next time. She has learnt not to bite your hand, or there won’t be any food offered in future.

It’s a pity a few more companies couldn’t learn that lesson: don’t bite your customers for the sake of an easy biscuit because they won’t come back - and you could be hungry by meal time.

And if you want someone to play ball - show them the ball.

A simple idea. A simple message. Perhaps that’s one reason dogs are so much more popular than business people.

The link above gives you access to all their information on Shakespeare, even if you don’t have a subscription yourself.

You can never have too much Shakespeare. Trust me, it’s good for the soul and your writing.

What are writing about?

Why are you writing?

Only when you know these can you really organise your thoughts and your writing effectively.

Who is your audience?

Are we talking to existing customers? Or prospects? Or both?

Or is this for an internal audience - such as staff or shareholders?

If it’s going to new prospects, will they be familiar with the company? What about the product or service? Will they be familiar with the basic offer?

A copywriter needs to be able to visualise the person they are speaking to. They need to know who they are - not just through some dumb marketing stereo-typing along the lines of ‘C2s’ or ‘empty-nesters.’

A copywriter needs to know who they really are - what they are like, how they talk, what they care about. Ideally, the copywriter needs to be able to draw on personal experiences and friendships - so that they can picture someone they genuinely do know who might fit the audience profile.

That way, the copywriter really can find the right tone of voice.

This is not a precise science. Your audience is likely to be wide and varied. Even if the audience is very precise, these people are still individuals and there is no magic bullet when it comes to the right tone of voice.

But an experienced copywriter will have an idea of how to write, the kinds of language and levels of familiarity and slang to use, depending on the nature of the audience.

Often clients forget to tell copywriters the most basic essentials in a brief. If so, it’s up to the copywriter to make they know the audience as clearly as possible before getting too far into the project.

This really can be as basic as finding out if the communication is aimed at customers or an internal audience such as staff or shareholders. If it’s aimed at customers, are they prospects or have they bought before?

In my experience, a lot of marketing departments and agencies are too quick to fall back on stereo-typing of customers and prospects, lumping them into generalisations. A copywriter needs to see beyond these. Because the generalisations are nearly always insulting, arrogant and immature.

A copywriter can’t afford to be these things. He has to talk to people in a language with which they are comfortable. This means not talking down to them but treating them with respect.

It’s not generalisations about their habits and lifestyles that you need. It’s solid information about what they already know; whether they are likely to be familiar with the company or product; whether or not they already source a similar product from a rival. Or will they have heard bad reports about the product from another source? Or good reports?

If you’re briefing a copywriter and you neglect to tell them these things, then you won’t get the copy you really want (although you possibly will get the copy you deserve).

And if you are a copywriter or aspiring copywriter, then you had better make sure you know these things before you start writing.

A lot of what makes a copywriter effective is the ability to visualise the person you are writing for, to such an extent that it becomes second nature.

Sometimes seeing copy produced by less experienced writers (for example clients) is a sharp reminder that other people either don’t know how to do this or can’t. That’s possibly one reason why they’re not professional writers.

If you commission copywriting, this might give you some insight into how to make life easier for your writer.

If you’re a copywriter, you might recognise some of these. Please feel free to add more in the comments.

1. Email a bunch of PowerPoint slides in the firm conviction that they contain useful information.

2. Telephone out of the blue and, without introducing yourself, start gabbling about your bounce rate.

3. Call up and ask: “How much would it cost to write a website?” Give no indication what kind of website you want, or how large it will be.

4. Deflect that tricky question: “Why should customers buy this product?” Reply along the lines of: “Because I need to meet my sales targets.” We know sales folk are self-obsessed, but come on…

5. Send an email with the mobile phone numbers of various sales executives that the copywriter is to contact for information. Make sure these are people who never answer their phone because they are in ‘meetings’ and who are far too busy and important to reply to voicemail messages.

6. Send the copywriter contact details for a ’satisfied’ client who is to be the subject of a case study. Don’t bother to contact the client yourself to find out if everything is OK. And don’t waste the account manager’s time with such a tiresome and unprofitable after-sales task either. Leave it to the copywriter to discover that the software didn’t work, made life worse for them, and is no longer used. Let the poor writer take the flak for your appalling product and service. Then, when they can’t write a case study because all the feedback is so negative, you won’t have to pay them for the time they wasted.

7. Don’t bother putting a brief together. Let the copywriter figure it out themselves from all the ‘background information,’ you send. Email over lots of design work that is totally irrelevant, along with every conceivable document and case study you can find even if it’s barely related to the project in hand. Dump everything you can find on the copywriter to totally confuse them and waste as much of their time as possible.

8. When asked a relevant question by your copywriter, but you don’t know the answer, string a bunch of clichés together and finish with the phrase: “You’re the wordsmith, I’m sure you can do something with that.”

9. Contact your copywriter and ask them to confirm their availability for an exciting and ever-so important new project. Don’t tell them what the project is. Don’t tell them when it will start. Or what it entails. Or the deadline. Or what copy is needed. Or if any physical meetings are required. Or how much money you’re offering to pay. Just ask them to confirm their availability anyway.

10. Call your copywriter and tell them, in your most stressed out voice, that you have a crisis on your hands. You need copy right away. Can they drop everything and get it to you? There’s not much budget - but tell them it could be the start of something big. You’re sure there will be lots of work to put their way later if they get this one right. They’re sure to believe you, as they’ve never heard this one before. See if they’ll do the job for free, right now, for a very demanding client who expects perfection and more. Then moan about copywriters in general when they don’t return your calls….

All right, that’s out of my system. I’ll get back to working on the much more positive post: ‘How to brief your copywriter.’ Watch this space.

It’s a very good question, because lots of people who would benefit from the services of a copywriter aren’t familiar with how it works. They don’t know how expensive it is. They need to get a good idea of this before they can decide whether or not they can afford professional copywriting. Or whether they should do it themselves.

Of course, asking how much copywriting costs is the classic ‘how long is a piece of string’ question.

Clients are usually, understandably, a bit vague about how much they want doing. Often, they don’t really know. They want you to sort it out. That’s why they’re paying you.

But recently I’ve had requests as vague as “how much would it cost to write a letter,” with no information about the nature of the product, the audience, what they want to achieve, how the letter would be used, whether it would be long or short….

At this point, the experienced copywriter starts to talk their client through some of the options available. What you have to do is somehow get a brief out of them.

But this can cause significant problems for the clients themselves.

For example, you may have identified a copywriter you think would be ideal for the project in question. But if the copywriter is very busy, they may not have the time to talk you through all this information.

It may be clear that you’ve never used a copywriter before - so you’re probably not going to be a very important long-term client for them. The project will probably be quite small; you’ll need a fair bit of hand-holding; and at the back of his mind, the copywriter is possibly wondering whether or not you’ll be good for the payment at the end of it all.

(This is true of any business relationship based largely on trust. Most copywriters do work in advance and get paid later in expectation that the client will honour their side of the bargain.)

So if you want to know how much copywriting costs, and you need a fairly accurate answer to this, from a good, reliable and experienced copywriter, then you are probably going to have to meet them halfway. You need to give them as much information as possible, so that they can make an informed estimate of how much to charge.

Most copywriters will base this on how much of their time is going to be used up. They will likely have a day-rate they work to, and will price a project on that basis. This is not a stunningly accurate process. They might think “that’s two hours” or “that’s two days” but often there is no way to know for sure.

As a copywriter, the less you know about a project and about the client you are working for, the more you will err on the side of caution, to make sure you are covered.

So again, providing a thorough brief for your potential copywriter will help keep the costs down. It also makes it much more likely that your prospective copywriter will respond to your request quickly and with enthusiasm.

So, the answer to “how much does copywriting cost” is: “what do you want writing?” And for that, you need a brief, either verbal or written.

Check back later this week for: “How to brief a copywriter.”

‘Content’, ‘content’ everywhere,
But not the time to think.

There’s been a deluge of ‘content’ onto the internet. We’re drowning in it already - and the internet is barely into its adolescence.

And you know who’s fault it is, don’t you?

Google loves content, and so like amorous suitors desperate to win her attention, the webmasters, the bloggers, the spammers and the entrepreneurs, we all lay our precious gifts of ‘content’ at her feet.

Everyone wants to catch the eye of the search engines. So anyone with a website is busy creating as much ‘content’ as possible. But what do they mean by ‘content’? Just word count?

Oh Google, Google, what have you done?

Look on the job writing boards and you’ll find webmasters who want thousands of articles on a particular topic, all to help their search engine optimisation. Forget quality, so long as there are keywords.

But what on earth are we going to do with all this content? How much of it has real value? How much of it is original? Is there a difference between ‘content’ and ‘writing’?

Oh Google, Google, what have you done?

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of a personal publishing revolution. I like the fact that anyone can be their own publisher, that everyone gets a voice.

But is there any real value in churning out content - any content - just so long as the social media types digg it, so long as it snags a few search terms?

Does Google assess quality, rather than simply counting the keywords? Inbound links are supposed to help here, as a kind of democratic arbiter, but the SEO experts know all too well how to game the system.

And when I say the ‘quality’ I’m not being a prose snob. It doesn’t have to be literature.

There are many sites out there with great writing and ideas and things to say; with personality, fresh thinking, solid information, facts and humour.

But there are plenty of sites where webmasters are piling on as much ‘content’ as they can, often without any real merit - hollow, vapid, uninformed, but packed with the right keywords.

Let’s name this monster

We need a term for it: content that only exists for search engines and ad clicks. It’s a kind of spam, really, dressed up as nourishing meal, but actually containing so few real ideas and information that it just leaves you more hungry than when you started.

If we can name this monster, maybe we can tame it.

‘Content’ that is really just a kind of website spam. What are we going to call that?

And do you think all this matters?

I do - because if people write like drones feeding keyword honey to the Queen Bee Google, then the real value of a personal publishing revolution gets lost somewhere.

There’s no real freedom of personal expression if everything you write is hackled by a subservience to keywords, and motivated solely by a desire to stuff yet more content into the slavering jaws of the search engine monsters.

(Hey, it’s my rant and I’ll mix my metaphors as vigorously as I please).

If I’m talking tosh, feel free to say so in the comments.

</rant>

Illustration of the Ancient Mariner is by Gustave Dore. The lines at the start of this post are, of course, a reference the the Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Coleridge:

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

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